I feel like my fucking head is going to explode. Really.
This #MeToo campaign, while I think it's a good way to open up a dialogue and shine a light on misogynists, rapists, pedophiles and creeps in general. It's also opened up a can of rampant stupidity.
Some of the comments, articles, blogs and op-ed pieces I've read are well thought out, clear concise and a lot are absolute crap.
Victim shaming from Mayim Bialik. (and yes Mayim, I read your article three times.)
This was my comment on it: I've read this three times now, because I thought I wasn't getting your point. I think you missed the mark. You held yourself as better than the actresses who happened to find themselves alone in a room with Weinstein. You alluded to your intellect and *frumpiness* as a reason that this never happened to you. Rapists don't care what a woman looks like, they don't care what she's wearing. Modesty doesn't make a person immune. Rape is about power and intimidation. Any person at any time can be assaulted. I'm happy you've never been groped or raped and I fervently hope it stays that way. Millions can't claim that.
To the, "I know his wife and kids" cop out from Alyssa Milano. (Who ironically started this whole #MeToo movement)
To the realistic look from Sarah Polley.
The comments I've seen are heartbreaking. The politicizing and blaming to outright bullshit.
Comments about Hillary Clinton (who is obviously to blame for EVERYTHING.)
To the "You deserve it 'cause you voted for Trump."
Then we have the "Trust in God, he'll get you through."
"I believe you"......This is the absolute worse thing you can say to a person who has just told you her story. She doesn't really give a fuck if you believe her.
Then we have the protectors. "She doesn't have to share on your timetable!"
"You're so brave, it'll get easier now."
I could go on, but what's the point? One in three women have a story, they can choose to tell it or not.
The whole #MeToo campaign is to show you aren't alone.
Now I can disagree with Mayim Bialik and Alyssa Milano without calling them names and un-following them or blocking them.
A difference of opinion.
I can call Ms. Milano out like I did, but really I don't know her story.
I don't know her relationships and what happened to her in her life.
I do however disagree with her stance on not saying anything because of her friendship with Weinstein's wife.
Harvey Weinstein is a predator, and if she knew this, I think she owed it to his wife and kids to say something.
That being said I speak from experiences in my own life. I've told friends not to be alone in a room with so and so.
I've cautioned my daughter on how to be safe and what to do in a situation if she was groped or assaulted.
It was no different than telling her to chew thoroughly and to look both ways when crossing a street.
She posted #MeToo.
So did both of my God Daughters.
I've taught my son to respect women, and to look after himself.
We arm our children and we send them out in the world and hope for the best.
We hope they'll succeed in life, and by that I don't mean have a high paying job, a fancy car or a McMansion.
To me succeeding in life is being with someone you love and not hurting anyone or yourself.
We are not all treated with respect and it's not anything we did, this is the most rampant misconception. The victim NEVER did anything, the ABUSER did.
The abuser is at fault.
Whether the abuser kicks their dog, beats a child, rapes a nun, is male or female.
It's their fault.
You didn't ask for it, you didn't have it coming.
To touch another human being against their will with harm in mind is just wrong.
I was molested at 5, is my mother to blame?
Should I have been taken out of the home?
No.
It wasn't my parents fault.
All they did was have a responsible teenager babysit. It was the abusers fault.
When I developed breasts earlier than most and put up with boys twisting them and grabbing them from Grade 4 to Grade 10, was that my fault?
No.
I was on my way to work on a Saturday morning in May. I was dragged behind a building and brutally raped, I was 17.
I wasn't dressed provocatively and it wasn't dark and I wasn't asking for it and I wasn't drunk.
Was that my fault?
No.
We can't always control what'll happen to us, we can try to stay out of situations that'll harm us, but really if some person wants to grab you or hurt you there's really not a lot to prepare for.
No op-ed piece or blog is going to save you.
I don't need you to believe me, pray for me, feel bad for me.
I need you to educate your children.
I need you to quit tearing each other apart on the internet. Respect other opinions, cultures and beliefs. Children are always watching.
Be kind.
Added October 18th.
This from Mayim Bialik today. I applaud her for apologizing.
