39

Today is our wedding anniversary, 39 years.
Don't ask Buzz how many that is in husband years, he doesn't have enough fingers and toes.

I always see these motivational speakers talking about how to be married, how to make it last.
The problem is most of these relationship gurus are single or divorced, not bashing divorced people, I'd never do that. Everyone has a story, and some very good reasons for divorce.

I guess I want to say that no two marriages are alike and no two people are alike, and there's no telling other people how to be married.

That being said, marriage is a long game, not for early quitters, and not for sissies. If it were easy, everyone would be married.It's hard and you don't always get a prize.You do get grey hair and laugh lines, a life long companion, but no medal.

I grew up in my marriage, we both did. We were 18 and 19 and a half. I worked at a gas station, Buzz was in the navy and we lived in a one bedroom fully furnished apartment in Esquimalt.

 It was hard we were so young and we had some good fights. I always suspect people who say they don't fight. Where's the passion? You need (to borrow from Seinfeld) an airing of the grievances. You will go to bed angry, you will wake up seething and you'll be tempted to throw in the towel.

A good marriage is a myth, a long marriage is never all good. There's hurt feelings, anger, grief, loss, joy, abundance, feast, and famine. It's every day it's every week, it's every month, and it's every year. It is a long grueling trek, some days there's a feather bed and a steak at the end of it, other days there's beans and the couch. 

You have to learn to let things go, that's it in a nutshell. Sure they bubble up every now and then, but it's fleeting and necessary. Let it float past.

Is it worth it? You bet, I could never imagine the last 40 years without Scott. He gave me our kids, he gave me himself, and a bunch of grey hair and a tooth grinding problem. The point is he stayed, I stayed, we are a unit. Sometimes a hurting unit, but the good outweighs the bad and the last few years apart from health issues there's really been a shortage of bad.

So thanks to my love bunny for going the distance, staying hydrated and wearing proper footwear. Sorry about the ashtray in 1980, you really didn't deserve that and thankfully I was too mad to throw straight.