Sunday, November 4, 2018

Dona Nobis Pacem 2018

I'm afraid
I'm afraid for my kids
I'm afraid for your kids
I'm afraid for decency and kindness.

I'm not afraid of a mislabeled hoard
I'm not afraid of refugees
I'm not afraid of Muslims
I'm not afraid of Jews.

I'm afraid of fear based decisions
I'm afraid of liars
I'm afraid of complacency
I'm afraid we've become too correct.

I'm afraid the balance is gone
I'm afraid we'll have a world war
I'm afraid we can't stop the downward spiral
I'm afraid we've forgotten how to stand up for what's right.

I'm afraid.

Saturday, January 20, 2018

from 2015

We read and post all manner of different inspirational messages on Face Book. We post about becoming better people and forgiving quickly and paying it forward. We post about our children and grandchildren, we post about how much we miss our parents and friends who have gone on ahead of us. We post about growing and educating ourselves, about how we'd like to see the world grow and change to be more like our new found faith, or religion or hobby or philosophy. We post about it and then we go to bed and get up and repeat the same damn patterns, hang up on some one if they tick us off, yell at the dog, judge someone by their clothing, laugh or the way they wear their hair. Get angry because your parent keeps calling or get mad at the checkout girl, the guy at the bank, the moron that cut you off. You come home and post about it, get on Face Book and rail against opportunists and asshats, we all do it, we all feel it, we all are doing our best. Think twice, maybe three times before posting a negative comment, think twice about posting an inspirational post that you have no intention of really looking at or reading. Do your best to be kind and thoughtful, do your best not to hurt anyone, do your best and the rest of it will go away. The external clamor, the negative. Be kind, we reap what we sow, we really do. Try smiling at the guy who cut you off, try telling the guy at the bank to have a nice day. I've learned over the years that a kind gesture, a pat on the back a hug a laugh can really help someone get through their day. Kiss the dog on his gasket and hug your cat, tomorrow will be better than today and if not, don't take it out on the mail lady. Be your best. Be kind.

Sunday, December 17, 2017

Oh Ellen, some days I miss you so much.
Nine years since you left us.
You are missed.

Tuesday, November 14, 2017


Well the, "They took Christ out of Christmas" memes have started again.
Most from 2013, so yeah they're really relevant.

The last few days I've seen the Ben Stein Holiday tree story eight times.
It's from 2013 and we all know that Trump has already started on the phony Christian line about the holiday.
I call it that because he's no more a Christian then I'm a lingerie model.

 I blog about *they* every year.

*They* won't let us say Merry Christmas.

*They* make war heroes live on the streets.

*They* give refugees tons of money.

Again, I'll  ask you middle aged, privileged, white Canadians,
"Just what the fuck are you afraid of?"

You can say Merry Christmas! WE live in a free country.

You can volunteer with homeless vets if you want, (although there are a few it's not an epidemic like in the U.S.A.) so you can go to one of the homeless shelters and help there.
Better yet, give a street person some warm clothing and a sandwich.

You can help a refugee family, they are refugees, they NEED everything. They don't receive thousands of your tax payer dollars.

It's a fine line between racism/sexism/bigotry/hate and these memes
 The memes are generated by hate groups and trolls trying to cause dissension and conflict.

 It works.

 Every fucking time.

I had a Face Book friend, I say had because I ditched him today.

 He had this big long post about how all men are not rapists.

 I agree strongly with that, there are more good men than we think.

He then went on the defensive about how he was a *victim* on a #MeToo thread.
 He (a middle  aged white man)  went on this thread to stand up for men who are wrongly accused and got shot down for it. 

Again I abhor women/men who point the finger at an innocent person. 
They should be exposed as liars as these false accusations bring down entire lives.

However, where he chose to right this wrong was on a thread where women who had been raped and molested were telling their stories.

He got on there and basically told them that they were wrong.

 Women who'd had atrocious acts done to them, had to see him *Mansplaining* about how he was being victimized by being *lumped* in with all these predators.

He didn't mean it like it came across, I'm sure. He needed to apologize and move on, after he was called on it.

He didn't, he blogged about it.

He's not a victim, he just isn't.

Words matter, memes matter.

Check your facts. Be kind.

Saturday, November 4, 2017

Dona Nobis Pacem 2017

Another year, another peace blog. 

I'm exhausted! Are you?

So tired of Donald Trump.

So tired of this lump in the pit of my stomach.

So tired of his bombast and his fomenting hate.

So tired of his intolerance and braggadocio.

So tired of his cadre of white middle aged bigots. (A.K.A. THE U.S.GOVERNMENT)

So tired of his double standard.

So tired of his Tweeting.

So tired of his lying.

So tired of his mis-direction.

So damn tired.

It's exhausting.

I'm not rich, I'm not in any position to do a damn thing about Mr. Trump.

Some of you are though.

Is this the legacy we leave our kids?

Is this what we want them to learn?

We want peace!

Do something!

Thursday, October 19, 2017

The shock of it all.

It was over so suddenly,

 I didn't realize it until many years later.

That was the last day of my child hood.

Life was different from that day forward,
scary and deep.

My childhood had been murdered,
 pushed over  a cliff.

Plunged into ice cold water,
 to flounder then drown.

I'd never be warm or dry or comfortable again.

The shock of it all, the damage. 

I was five. 

He was 16.

He was a man,

I was a girl.

He tried to friend me on Facebook three years ago.

It never goes away,

I'm always reminded.

Monday, October 16, 2017


I feel like my fucking head is going to explode. Really.

This #MeToo campaign, while I think it's a good way to open up a dialogue and shine a light on misogynists, rapists, pedophiles and creeps in general. It's also opened up a can of rampant stupidity.

Some of the comments, articles, blogs and op-ed pieces I've read are well thought out, clear concise and a lot are absolute crap.

Victim shaming from Mayim Bialik. (and yes Mayim, I read your article three times.)

This was my comment on it: I've read this three times now, because I thought I wasn't getting your point. I think you missed the mark. You held yourself as better than the actresses who happened to find themselves alone in a room with Weinstein. You alluded to your intellect and *frumpiness* as a reason that this never happened to you. Rapists don't care what a woman looks like, they don't care what she's wearing. Modesty doesn't make a person immune. Rape is about power and intimidation. Any person at any time can be assaulted. I'm happy you've never been groped or raped and I fervently hope it stays that way. Millions can't claim that.

To the, "I know his wife and kids" cop out from Alyssa Milano. (Who ironically started this whole #MeToo movement)

To the realistic look from Sarah Polley.

The comments I've seen are heartbreaking. The politicizing and blaming to outright bullshit. 
Comments about Hillary Clinton (who is obviously to blame for EVERYTHING.) 
To the "You deserve it 'cause you voted for Trump."

 Then we have the "Trust in God, he'll get you through."

"I believe you"......This is the absolute worse thing you can say to a person who has just told you her story. She doesn't really give a fuck if you believe her.

Then we have the protectors. "She doesn't have to share on your timetable!" 

"You're so brave, it'll get easier now."

I could go on, but what's the point?  One in three women have a story, they can choose to tell it or not.

The whole #MeToo campaign is to show you aren't alone. 

Now I can disagree with Mayim Bialik and Alyssa Milano without calling them names and un-following them or blocking them.
 A difference of opinion.
 I can call Ms. Milano out like I did, but really I don't know her story.
 I don't know her relationships and what happened to her in her life.
 I do however disagree with her stance on not saying anything because of her friendship with Weinstein's wife.
 Harvey Weinstein is a predator, and if she knew this, I think she owed it to his wife and kids to say something.

That being said I speak from experiences in my own life. I've told friends not to be alone in a room with so and so.
 I've cautioned my daughter on how to be safe and what to do in a situation if she was groped or assaulted. 
It was no different than telling her to chew thoroughly and to look both ways when crossing a street. 

She posted #MeToo. 
So did both of my God Daughters.

I've taught my son to respect women, and to look after himself. 

We arm our children and we send them out in the world and hope for the best.
We hope they'll succeed in life, and by that I don't mean have a high paying job, a fancy car or a McMansion.
To me succeeding in life is being with someone you love and not hurting anyone or yourself. 

We are not all treated with respect and it's not anything we did, this is the most rampant misconception. The victim NEVER did anything, the ABUSER did. 
The abuser is at fault.
 Whether the abuser kicks their dog, beats a child, rapes a nun, is male or female.
 It's their fault. 
You didn't ask for it, you didn't have it coming.
To touch another human being against their will with harm in mind is just wrong. 

I was molested at 5, is my mother to blame?
 Should I have been taken out of the home?
 It wasn't my parents fault.
 All they did was have a responsible teenager babysit. It was the abusers fault.

When I developed breasts earlier than most and put up with boys twisting them and grabbing them from Grade 4 to Grade 10, was that my fault?

I was on my way to work on a Saturday morning in May. I was dragged behind a building and brutally raped, I was 17.
 I wasn't dressed provocatively and it wasn't dark and I wasn't asking for it and I wasn't drunk. 
Was that my fault?

We can't always control what'll happen to us, we can try to stay out of situations that'll harm us, but really if some person wants to grab you or hurt you there's really not a lot to prepare for.
No op-ed piece or blog is going to save you. 

I don't need you to believe me, pray for me, feel bad for me.
 I need you to educate your children.
 I need you to quit tearing each other apart on the internet. Respect other opinions, cultures and beliefs. Children are always watching.

 Be kind.

Added October 18th.
This from Mayim Bialik today. I applaud her for apologizing.