Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Stealth cleaning

In the 29 plus years that Buzz and I have co-habitated, he has either worked away from home for long periods, or worked shifts. In order to get any semblance of a clean house I've had to develop some unique skills, while he sleeps.

I can and have prepared holiday meals in complete silence, (Hell, we've even done Christmas in dead silence, opening gifts and all) I can sweep and scrub the floors, dust, polish, windex, fold, and straighten without so much as a creak or thump (except from my joints) I can practically lip read the t.v. and can, in a Uri Gellar like state will the phone to stop halfway through the first ring.

I have a weird ninja reflex that I can employ to catch a falling object and prevent a door from slamming, a dog from barking and a salesman from knocking on the door. The only things I'm unable to do in a quiet, stealthy manner are the dishes.

This task eludes me. No matter how careful I am the glasses tingle, the silverware clinks and the cupboard doors get away from me. The tap will scream, or I will when I cut or scald myself. Even the dish cloth is loud, the detergent bottle farts (yes it does) and I always drop a pot lid on the deck and it takes forever to quit wobbling.

So as a consequence I've always got dirty dishes........hehe That's my story, etc.

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