Oh Ellen, some days I miss you so much.
Nine years since you left us.
You are missed.

Mansplaining

Well the, "They took Christ out of Christmas" memes have started again.
Most from 2013, so yeah they're really relevant.


The last few days I've seen the Ben Stein Holiday tree story eight times.
It's from 2013 and we all know that Trump has already started on the phony Christian line about the holiday.
I call it that because he's no more a Christian then I'm a lingerie model.


 I blog about *they* every year.

*They* won't let us say Merry Christmas.

*They* make war heroes live on the streets.

*They* give refugees tons of money.

Again, I'll  ask you middle aged, privileged, white Canadians,
"Just what the fuck are you afraid of?"

You can say Merry Christmas! WE live in a free country.

You can volunteer with homeless vets if you want, (although there are a few it's not an epidemic like in the U.S.A.) so you can go to one of the homeless shelters and help there.
Better yet, give a street person some warm clothing and a sandwich.

You can help a refugee family, they are refugees, they NEED everything. They don't receive thousands of your tax payer dollars.

It's a fine line between racism/sexism/bigotry/hate and these memes
 The memes are generated by hate groups and trolls trying to cause dissension and conflict.

 It works.

 Every fucking time.

I had a Face Book friend, I say had because I ditched him today.

 He had this big long post about how all men are not rapists.

 I agree strongly with that, there are more good men than we think.

He then went on the defensive about how he was a *victim* on a #MeToo thread.
 He (a middle  aged white man)  went on this thread to stand up for men who are wrongly accused and got shot down for it. 

Again I abhor women/men who point the finger at an innocent person. 
They should be exposed as liars as these false accusations bring down entire lives.

However, where he chose to right this wrong was on a thread where women who had been raped and molested were telling their stories.

He got on there and basically told them that they were wrong.

 Women who'd had atrocious acts done to them, had to see him *Mansplaining* about how he was being victimized by being *lumped* in with all these predators.

He didn't mean it like it came across, I'm sure. He needed to apologize and move on, after he was called on it.

He didn't, he blogged about it.

He's not a victim, he just isn't.

Words matter, memes matter.

Check your facts. Be kind.

Dona Nobis Pacem 2017

Another year, another peace blog. 

I'm exhausted! Are you?

So tired of Donald Trump.

So tired of this lump in the pit of my stomach.

So tired of his bombast and his fomenting hate.

So tired of his intolerance and braggadocio.

So tired of his cadre of white middle aged bigots. (A.K.A. THE U.S.GOVERNMENT)

So tired of his double standard.

So tired of his Tweeting.

So tired of his lying.

So tired of his mis-direction.

So damn tired.

It's exhausting.

I'm not rich, I'm not in any position to do a damn thing about Mr. Trump.

Some of you are though.

Is this the legacy we leave our kids?

Is this what we want them to learn?

We want peace!

Do something!

The shock of it all.

It was over so suddenly,

 I didn't realize it until many years later.

That was the last day of my child hood.

Life was different from that day forward,

scary and deep.

My childhood had been murdered,

 pushed over  a cliff.

Plunged into ice cold water,

 to flounder then drown.

I'd never be warm or dry or comfortable again.

The shock of it all, the damage. 

I was five. 

He was 16.

He was a man,

I was a girl.

He tried to friend me on Facebook three years ago.

It never goes away,

I'm always reminded.

#MeToo

I feel like my fucking head is going to explode. Really.

This #MeToo campaign, while I think it's a good way to open up a dialogue and shine a light on misogynists, rapists, pedophiles and creeps in general. It's also opened up a can of rampant stupidity.

Some of the comments, articles, blogs and op-ed pieces I've read are well thought out, clear concise and a lot are absolute crap.

Victim shaming from Mayim Bialik. (and yes Mayim, I read your article three times.)

This was my comment on it: I've read this three times now, because I thought I wasn't getting your point. I think you missed the mark. You held yourself as better than the actresses who happened to find themselves alone in a room with Weinstein. You alluded to your intellect and *frumpiness* as a reason that this never happened to you. Rapists don't care what a woman looks like, they don't care what she's wearing. Modesty doesn't make a person immune. Rape is about power and intimidation. Any person at any time can be assaulted. I'm happy you've never been groped or raped and I fervently hope it stays that way. Millions can't claim that.

To the, "I know his wife and kids" cop out from Alyssa Milano. (Who ironically started this whole #MeToo movement)

To the realistic look from Sarah Polley.

The comments I've seen are heartbreaking. The politicizing and blaming to outright bullshit. 

Comments about Hillary Clinton (who is obviously to blame for EVERYTHING.) 

To the "You deserve it 'cause you voted for Trump."

 Then we have the "Trust in God, he'll get you through."

"I believe you"......This is the absolute worse thing you can say to a person who has just told you her story. She doesn't really give a fuck if you believe her.

Then we have the protectors. "She doesn't have to share on your timetable!" 

"You're so brave, it'll get easier now."

I could go on, but what's the point?  One in three women have a story, they can choose to tell it or not.

The whole #MeToo campaign is to show you aren't alone. 

Now I can disagree with Mayim Bialik and Alyssa Milano without calling them names and un-following them or blocking them.

 A difference of opinion.

 I can call Ms. Milano out like I did, but really I don't know her story.

 I don't know her relationships and what happened to her in her life.

 I do however disagree with her stance on not saying anything because of her friendship with Weinstein's wife.

 Harvey Weinstein is a predator, and if she knew this, I think she owed it to his wife and kids to say something.

That being said I speak from experiences in my own life. I've told friends not to be alone in a room with so and so.

 I've cautioned my daughter on how to be safe and what to do in a situation if she was groped or assaulted. 

It was no different than telling her to chew thoroughly and to look both ways when crossing a street. 

She posted #MeToo. 

So did both of my God Daughters.

I've taught my son to respect women, and to look after himself. 

We arm our children and we send them out in the world and hope for the best.

We hope they'll succeed in life, and by that I don't mean have a high paying job, a fancy car or a McMansion.

To me succeeding in life is being with someone you love and not hurting anyone or yourself. 

We are not all treated with respect and it's not anything we did, this is the most rampant misconception. The victim NEVER did anything, the ABUSER did. 

The abuser is at fault.

 Whether the abuser kicks their dog, beats a child, rapes a nun, is male or female.

 It's their fault. 

You didn't ask for it, you didn't have it coming.

To touch another human being against their will with harm in mind is just wrong. 

I was molested at 5, is my mother to blame?

 Should I have been taken out of the home?

 No.

 It wasn't my parents fault.

 All they did was have a responsible teenager babysit. It was the abusers fault.

When I developed breasts earlier than most and put up with boys twisting them and grabbing them from Grade 4 to Grade 10, was that my fault?

 No.

I was on my way to work on a Saturday morning in May. I was dragged behind a building and brutally raped, I was 17.

 I wasn't dressed provocatively and it wasn't dark and I wasn't asking for it and I wasn't drunk. 

Was that my fault?

No. 

We can't always control what'll happen to us, we can try to stay out of situations that'll harm us, but really if some person wants to grab you or hurt you there's really not a lot to prepare for.

No op-ed piece or blog is going to save you. 

I don't need you to believe me, pray for me, feel bad for me.

 I need you to educate your children.

 I need you to quit tearing each other apart on the internet. Respect other opinions, cultures and beliefs. Children are always watching.

 Be kind.







Added October 18th.
This from Mayim Bialik today. I applaud her for apologizing.

272

272 mass shootings (of 4 or more people) in the United States this year. 272.

 This is day 274 of 2017. Keep in mind this is ONLY mass shootings.

 I don't care if you're a Democrat or a Republican, this isn't a party issue. This isn't a Second Amendment issue.These are human lives, people, not some trolling bonanza on Twitter or Facebook for the little basement dwellers who always tout the right to protect themselves, or the right to hunt meat to feed their families.

 My all time favorite, guns don't kill people....fuck off. Guns kill people when fired by people.

 Gun control. You don't need a semi automatic weapon to hunt grouse and deer and you sure as hell don't need one for protection.

 Mental health checks, gun control, longer waiting periods. Armour piercing rounds, semi automatic weapons, get them off the street. Yes I know if some nut job is Hell bent on killing people he'll find any means possible, but why make it so easy? 

This is terrorism, he wasn't brown and he wasn't foreign, he was a home grown terrorist.

 Anyone who knows me will know that I'm not anti gun. I'm not a butt hurt lefty, I grew up with guns, hunted with guns, love to shoot guns.

I just about lost the plot today.
I saw one too many posts about the gov't giving refugees and immigrants huge amounts of money.
Taking food out of the mouths of pensioners.
Not true, proven over and over.
What are people afraid of? What?
We have so much in relation to these people, can't we give a little?

The religious right, wtf? Are you not reading your own bible? You feel it nescessary to instill such hatred toward *Muslims*  You want prayer back in schools, but your good Christian prayer. Not any other religion. Just yours.

The lazy ass who sits at home smoking and drinking and eating garbage, is outraged because some kid who overdosed is getting *free* narcan. Really? You have to pay for your lipitor? Fuck off.
Where's your compassion?

Just today I saw a picture of refugees coming into Canada with this hateful caption; Illegal immigrants have child porn!
Please, these people have a few clothes in a bag plus oodles of kiddy porn? Again, fuck off!

I try to be nice, respect other views, but I'm not a saint. So today I say to all of you that think any of these things are true to just this once think before you open your cake hole. And fuck off! Really, you and all your bigoted racist mysonginistic cunt friends too.
I'm so mad I'm not punctuating or spell checking or worried about my grammar. 

*They lost Ryan*

The world according to Trump. Just today, (only today) he's Tweeted that *they lost Ryan* blaming the Seals for the death and failed raid in Yemen. Then he said that Obama was behind all the leaks in his administration, and finally (hopefully) that the Jews are behind their own spate of anti-semitic acts and threats. Whew, glad that's been straightened out. I'm going to be cleaning the litter box and cutting the cling ons off the dog's ass later. Will give his address a miss.

Just doing some reading on Rev. Franklin Graham. I see now where the more extreme views from some of my Christian friends come from. 

What an intolerant bigot. I feel sorry for you if this is the "way" you wish to worship. Hate is so overrated.

 Live and worship in the way that helps you look in the mirror at the end of the day. I choose to live and let live. I respect your views but will in no way ever be convinced to hate a person for being gay or a refugee or a (insert religion here.)

 I'm also hoping that people in the gay, refugee, (insert religion here) don't paint us white, over-privileged people with the same brush as the Reverend. (or Westboro, or the KKK, all factions of WHITE Christianity.) Like you do to extreme factions of (insert religion here)

 I keep coming back to this. It isn't sinking in I guess. So I'll keep blogging and writing and saying it over and over.

 Love one another, be kind.

I wrote this in August of 2007. Wildly prophetic. 




8/30/07
And we danced
We danced for the sheer joy of it. We danced solo, in couples and in groups. We danced under the full moon, we danced because it was Wednesday. We danced because we could, we were un fettered and free. We danced because our Grandfathers fought for our right to dance. We were happy.

Soon the puppet master came. At first he tried to tell us whom we could dance with. We obliged. We weren't happy but we did as we were told. Then the puppet master decided we should have strings attached. Strings on our arms and legs, strings on our heads. Some of us decided that we weren't going to dance for the puppet master, we decided that the strings were binding. So we danced in secret. We still danced together, but we were selective. We privately danced in couples, solo and in groups.

The puppet master soon found out and made it so even our private time had strings attached. We were sad. We couldn't dance any longer for the sheer joy of it. We couldn't choose our partners or groups. We couldn't dance the way our Granfathers hoped. Some of us chose to capitulate to the puppet master, tell him what he wanted to hear, so we could still dance. Others gave up dancing all together, the puppet master wasn't going to tell them what to do.

Our troupe faltered, we became discordant, the puppet master pulled our strings willy nilly, we could no longer dance together. We were sad.Then a revelation, one dancer decided that she would just cut the strings and dance to the beat of her own drummer, her Grandfather fought for her right to dance, she had a strong group of friends, and quite frankly decided that the puppet master could kiss the fattest part of her ass. Now she's out there, totally alone, dancing under the full moon, dancing with her friends and loving it. Life was good again. She wants the puppet master to know that she'll be a stone in his shoe. Everytime he tries to orchestrate the group or make them dance to his tune she'll be there. She'll cause pain, she'll make the puppet master wonder how he'll ever get rid of her. Oh, she might go, but it won't be quietly. No sir, she'll be outside dancing to the tune of her own music, directed only by her inner drummer, not by some Johnny come lately puppet master.

The pro Trump memes and anti Democrat memes I take with a grain of salt. That's high feelings and passion.

The direct hateful memes and comments about the woman's march. This sluts and baby killer propaganda is exactly why a misogynist got elected.

The hateful personal attacks and women turning on one another. You can be a Republican and a Trump supporter without attacking a whole gender.

These marches were FOR woman's rights, gender equality and fair pay, fair health care. Rights that our gender had to claw for.

To make it about abortion and attacking the women who courageously spoke about their morals and past behavior is bullying, at worst a hate crime.

Putting up a picture of a burning limo from Inauguration night that the same group who caused the hockey riot has claimed as their own, is just smoke and mirrors.

Love him or hate him, love her or hate her but RESPECT the women who made it possible for you to voice it online as you own original thought.

Attacking your whole gender based on a few *Trumped* up alternative facts doesn't make it OK. Millions of women marched from all over the world because it's not OK.

They did it peacefully, they did it out of love for their fellow sisters who have been abused, raped, unable to afford cancer screening and mammograms, to get counselling, who get paid less than a man for the same job. They did it for their gay children and their *not white* nationalities.

That's the one that gets me, the *registering* if you're Muslim. Smacks of Nazi Germany. That closed fist rankles me too. The new salute in my opinion.

It works both ways, if you want to send people back where they came from I guess I'll have to go to Sweden, even though I was born in Canada. Oh no, half of me has to go to Scotland!

A few of my more vocal *friends* will have to leave the States because they're immigrants too.

I'm not a baby killer, I'm not a Femi/Nazi/tard (wow offensive) I'm a Mother and Grandmother from Canada who has benefited from our health care system, and enjoyed the freedom to have a gay uncle, gay cousins, native cousins, and *gasp* a circle of female friends from all over the world.

Some cheated, some had therapeutic abortions, some were beaten, some raped, some molested, some are gay, some have cancer, some are dying, and some are brown.

I love them all.

However, I do not condone or feel love for any woman who would post such garbage. Especially when I know for a fact that they had/did many of the things on my list. Plus they've come home to Canada when they need operations and prescriptions.

We don't feel comfortable being told by a man (or anyone) when and where we can get heath care. The same men who thought that women could control when and where they had their periods, and (my personal fave) that women all have their period at the same time!

I know I'm not American, (my Dad was, so was the persecuted gay uncle, and grandparents) but if you think this Presidency will not effect us in Canada, you're so wrong.

Already talking NAFTA and pipelines and signed the gag order on abortion.

What's next?

All you fat ugly Canadian women have to go home? How does that feel?

Think about your words and hateful propaganda because I will never forget what you said and posted. I'll never pretend that it's not there when we see each other.

This wasn't easy for me to write, I'm all about screening what I see from certain people, blocking, unfriending.

I could have done this privately but that's not good enough in this case. When someone sees that we're friends on Face Book I don't want them to think I'm like minded.

Be Kind.

http://harp.rs/5j5kroq 

Go here, read this and remember why you marched ladies.

Be kind, don't turn on one another.

No more stooping, 

No more hate,

No more compromise,

RESIST!

Be Nice.

If you can't say it to someone's face, don't post it.

 I've been reading comments about Meryl Streep. She's being called down for her Golden Globe acceptance speech.

 In her speech she made it clear that mocking one another for race, creed or ability (disability) is unacceptable. She basically just reminded us of what out parents told us when we were 3. Be nice, play fair, show some compassion and acceptance for other people and their differences.

 She also didn't name him or call him names while doing so.

Now the people who are slamming her for this are in turn being insulted by people who like her. That's right, I've seen it several times. 

The people who profess to hate what Mr. Trump said or did are now attacking the people that didn't like what Meryl said. Thus completing the circle.

 I'm sure Ms. Streep didn't give such an impassioned and heartfelt speech to have her supporters do the same thing she abhors.

 I also read today that people elect who best represents them. Judging by all the hate filled comments from all sides we can see how Mr. Trump got elected. 

Like him or hate him, respect one another's right to do the same.